Today I plan on using something quite superficial to stay motivated: my flawless bone structure. That’s right, I am using up space on the Internet and this blog to brag about how awesome my bones are. I am the proud recipient of genes that gave me a great jawline, nice curves, baby-baring hips, little (cute) feet, somewhat dainty hands, and a pretty attractive face. By the laws of beauty (which dictate that symmetry = beauty), I think I’m beautiful. I’m also quite modest, as you can tell.
I have covered up this glorious body that I was blessed with by eating the wrong things and remaining quite sedentary in the past. And after I added on a couple extra layers of fat, I also added on layers of clothing to cover myself up. The more self-conscious I became, the larger my clothes got. Wearing big clothes makes me feel frumpy and it makes me seem like I have something to hide.
I want to be proud of my body and I want to feel the confidence that I feel on “good days” every day. And as I continue this journey, I am slowly gaining back that confidence. Running has been a huge contributing factor to my happiness and self-worth. When I am consistently running, I am also consistently calm, patient, happy, and satisfied with my life. When I give up running for a week or two, my mood dramatically shifts and I am much less satisfied with myself.
I used to think that runners were part of some kind of colt. They used to say things like, “Running makes me a better person” and “I go running to clear my head” and “There’s nothing better than waking up early and getting a good run in.” I thought they were batshit crazy. They were speaking another language with all their talk of PRs, corrals, intervals, and shin splints. I was a non-believer. But, look at me now. All of those things that runners say that I used to mock are now coming out of my mouth on a regular basis. It’s true. Running really does clear my head. Running in the morning is the most amazing use of time and it starts my day off right. Running truly makes me a better person.
Though running and taking care of my body make me a better person on the inside for sure, it’s so important for me to recognize that when I am thin/fit/skinny/whatever you want to call it, I am happier. I feel confident, free, sexy, pretty. I feel everything that a woman my age should feel and then some. Reminding myself of this helps me understand that I am not just working toward the long-term goal of a healthy future, but I am also working for a short-term goal of looking good.
It may be superficial when you first think of it, but think deeper. Think about the “fat days” or the days when you “can’t find anything to wear.” It throws everything off. Think of trying on a shirt that fit you perfectly two weeks ago and now it is a bit too snug and it looks slightly awkward. It’s not a good way to start your day. A better way to start your day is to look in the mirror and notice that you have more definition in your arms. Or to try on a pair of shorts that were a little too small before, but fit you just right now. The best way to start your day is feeling confident about yourself and your body.
Running and eating right are helping me gain back my confidence and appreciate my body more. I have noticed some small changes: less fat underneath my chin, smaller love handles (although I really did like those), less fat on that part of my knee that sticks out when I’m squatting (did that make any sense?), tighter derrière, and more muscle in my arms. I even get dressed quicker because some clothes are starting to fit better and I don’t have to go through my whole closet to find something that will cover me up. I get so excited when I notice the little things. The little things motivate me to continue my progress so that I can start to see some big things too.